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Fashion Police rant for the unemployed
Jan. 26th, 2009 09:37 pmSo my little fashionistas - as we know being gainfully employed never goes out of style and as we here have been fielding a landslide of job applicants and applications we have a few suggestions that will help you stand out in a crowd and yes ... these are all examples I have encountered in the last 3 weeks -
First - read the ad for the job you are applying for. Are you qualified? Can you travel to the job? (yes.. i have had people tell me after i book an interview "I don't have a car. how am I going to get there?")
If you need more information - send an email and ask for the information you are looking for. Do not say "hi, can i have more info" when what you want to know is "can you tell me is there health insurance or a 401k
CHECK YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!!! The last thing your potential employer wants to know is you are "ilikepenngies@yahoo" or "xxsexydawg@hotmail" wants to work for them.If you want to be hired as a professional then act like one. Present yourself like one with a grownup email address and everything. On a side note having your email address as "yourname@email.net" but the from name as Ben Dover" or "Al Coholic" isn't any better.
Once you have picked the job or jobs of your dreams write them down, keep a list, something/anything so that when the eager HR person calls you for an interview you don't have to ask "what is this for?" srsly people.
Now on to your resume- Just some highlights -
CHeck to make sure the cover letter reflects the job you have applied for. If you want to grow up to be a mechanical engineer please do not let the person who thinks you are applying for their sales job in on that little secret. Let's just keep it between us. Same goes for the Mr. High End Acoustic System Installer and Mrs. Laid off Hair Dresser.
Please do not beg for a job. I am sorry you lost your other job and you have two kids and are taking care of an elderly parent and gout or whatever but that isn't going to make me any mor eager to hire you. It might make me think you will be taking alot of personal time from work as a matter of fact..hmmm
Read your resume before you send it out. Does it have critical information in an easy to find location? Like say a phone number or your name (yes- I have had resumes missing the person's name).
Oh a HUGE side note- do not put a number on your resume that doesn't work. About a third of the resumes I get have out of service phone numbers. Srsly people
Also - call your own phone. Listen to the music, message etc. I do not want to hear "smack my bitch up" while waiting to leave you a message. Nor do I want to hear your skank girlfriend telling me "if you are some stupid c*nt trying to get wit my man you better hang up now before I come and git on yous". If you are looking for a serious job have a serious phone presence. Please.
Your resume shouldn't be more than 2 pages long. If it is change the formatting, get rid of the extra stuff (no I don' care that you were on an infamous reality television show nor do I need your measurements thank you)
Here is another crazy idea - make sure you actually attach the resume to the email. In a format most people can open. Your techno wizardry will not help you if I can't read it.
If you make it as far as the interview process a few tips - wear something nice. No holes, no wrinkles, nothing too tight, too loose or too anything for that matter. DO NOT throw an entire bottle of *anything* over yourself. No scent is better than too much. Brush your hair and your teeth. Be on time. Don't call me every five minutes looking for directions or to tell me you are running late. Call me once- give me an eta and then if you pass it call me again. Do not expect me to stay on the phone giving you directions for 20 minutes marking every street corner and intersection with a "good boy".
Be nice, be polite and for gods sake please be aware of how you sound. You are applying for a sales job, speak clearly and with authority. DO NOT giggle, chew gum while you talk to me, apologize for everything or talk over me.
If you can do all of this and a little more you may have a shot.
I think that is enough advice for now.
stay beautiful people and good luck
First - read the ad for the job you are applying for. Are you qualified? Can you travel to the job? (yes.. i have had people tell me after i book an interview "I don't have a car. how am I going to get there?")
If you need more information - send an email and ask for the information you are looking for. Do not say "hi, can i have more info" when what you want to know is "can you tell me is there health insurance or a 401k
CHECK YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS!!! The last thing your potential employer wants to know is you are "ilikepenngies@yahoo" or "xxsexydawg@hotmail" wants to work for them.If you want to be hired as a professional then act like one. Present yourself like one with a grownup email address and everything. On a side note having your email address as "yourname@email.net" but the from name as Ben Dover" or "Al Coholic" isn't any better.
Once you have picked the job or jobs of your dreams write them down, keep a list, something/anything so that when the eager HR person calls you for an interview you don't have to ask "what is this for?" srsly people.
Now on to your resume- Just some highlights -
CHeck to make sure the cover letter reflects the job you have applied for. If you want to grow up to be a mechanical engineer please do not let the person who thinks you are applying for their sales job in on that little secret. Let's just keep it between us. Same goes for the Mr. High End Acoustic System Installer and Mrs. Laid off Hair Dresser.
Please do not beg for a job. I am sorry you lost your other job and you have two kids and are taking care of an elderly parent and gout or whatever but that isn't going to make me any mor eager to hire you. It might make me think you will be taking alot of personal time from work as a matter of fact..hmmm
Read your resume before you send it out. Does it have critical information in an easy to find location? Like say a phone number or your name (yes- I have had resumes missing the person's name).
Oh a HUGE side note- do not put a number on your resume that doesn't work. About a third of the resumes I get have out of service phone numbers. Srsly people
Also - call your own phone. Listen to the music, message etc. I do not want to hear "smack my bitch up" while waiting to leave you a message. Nor do I want to hear your skank girlfriend telling me "if you are some stupid c*nt trying to get wit my man you better hang up now before I come and git on yous". If you are looking for a serious job have a serious phone presence. Please.
Your resume shouldn't be more than 2 pages long. If it is change the formatting, get rid of the extra stuff (no I don' care that you were on an infamous reality television show nor do I need your measurements thank you)
Here is another crazy idea - make sure you actually attach the resume to the email. In a format most people can open. Your techno wizardry will not help you if I can't read it.
If you make it as far as the interview process a few tips - wear something nice. No holes, no wrinkles, nothing too tight, too loose or too anything for that matter. DO NOT throw an entire bottle of *anything* over yourself. No scent is better than too much. Brush your hair and your teeth. Be on time. Don't call me every five minutes looking for directions or to tell me you are running late. Call me once- give me an eta and then if you pass it call me again. Do not expect me to stay on the phone giving you directions for 20 minutes marking every street corner and intersection with a "good boy".
Be nice, be polite and for gods sake please be aware of how you sound. You are applying for a sales job, speak clearly and with authority. DO NOT giggle, chew gum while you talk to me, apologize for everything or talk over me.
If you can do all of this and a little more you may have a shot.
I think that is enough advice for now.
stay beautiful people and good luck
