sylvari

We all fall down!

  The last few weeks my cards have been wrning me that it's time to slow down and really absorb everything that happens around me. To that end I am taking October off so I can stay home and focus on those things I would like to learn. I was suppose to start last week but ....

My entire week last week was spent battling a cold, migraines caused by my period and an infection that had my lymph nodes swolllen and painful. Nothing says "uphill battle" like bleeding, dripping nose, sweats and to top it all off *shudder* mouth breathing. Every moment I wasn't at work or the doctors was spent laying on the couch either trying not to move so my head didn't break into a thousand pieces or or trying to find a way to work up the energy to accomplish basic tasks like shower. It was so bad that I actually forgot I was suppose to work yesterday until they called me 15 minutes into my shift to ask if I was coming in.

That means this week is full of get all my shit done.
Monday I am working 5-9 because I just found out the girl who was suppose to work hurt herself and I guess I was the first fool to answer my phone.
Tuesday the ever patient Becka and Joe are having us for dinner. This will be the third reschedule they have put up with from us.
Wedensday is free but I did tell Rob I would head to Boston to see him while he is visiting and I hope that this is his only free day because it's my only free night.
Thursday is the High 5 rally and I am probably not going to get out of work until 5 then it's off to Igor's to help him with his invoices which  Iwas going to do on Friday but
Friday is Harvest at the Farm! I will be there all night
Saturday is PPD 7 am till 7 pm
Sunday is the Sunwheel at 10 followed by stuff with those people.

then i fall down Sunday night. How this week got so busy I honestly do not know. This puts me two weeks farther away from my goals and contributes a great deal to why I feel as if my brain is trying to follow a hundred different things at once. Focusing is a skill that seems to elude me at the moment. Hence my taking time off in October to really focus.

Being sick has done one thing for me though, I spent very little time online last week. KInda liked it. This has given me an idea. One of the things I have avoided in the last few years is time on the phone in favor of emails and text messages. For the next month we are going to flip things around, If you want to talk, call me. If I don't get to you right away leave a message and I will get back to you. My online time is going to drop severly so this may be the only way to touch base. If you don't have my number - drop me a line and I will send it to you. :)

ok, bedtime. Crazyass week starts soon.

 Taking my lunch break and thought I would just drop by lj land to say Hi everyone




Hi everyone!


Having an uber anxious day but the weather is good, I am getting stuff done, lately my life has presented me with some friends who are startling and wonderful, I work both here and at home with some pretty dedicated people an my Shiny boi still is amazing after all this time.


Life is good and the anxiety monster is held at bay.


woot!

So I have sat here for the last hour or so staring at my screen debating what to write. There has been alot of turmoil in my life lately and while I would love to put it all down in it's start naked truth we all know that lj is not a place for truths as much as it is a place for controlled information.
Let's start with the disappointments. I am disappointed that people can't see past their own nose to help others. That helping someone does not then mean you are helped. That the people I considered community and family are so uninterested in being a community. I am disappointed in myself for giving up so much of me for so long.
I am sad to hear that people I wanted to trust have proven so untrustworthy. And that they have seemingly changed so much.
My goodwill is slowly evaporating. I know it is not all your fault but you bear some of the responsibility for what has happened. Cowboy up. Tell me you understand where you are fucking up. Try simply saying 'I'm sorry" not "I'm sorry here are my excuses why I am not to blame"
I am a little pissed at myself for falling apart all over the place lately. I used to have this thing called a backbone. Gods only knows where it went. THere also used to be a much larger pool of patience to draw from. Well that is what therapy is for. To help me get some of that back.
While I have limited time I think I need to see more people. Or something.More doing less sitting around and playing in my own poo. There are people I miss an awful lot.
My life is missing two things right now. cake and tits. mostly cake. damn it.
Work came and went today and still no word on what the hell my job actually is. Meantime
projects hang in the balance. *sigh*
Now the good stuff..
My boys are amazingly patient with all this.
School continues to be teh sexorz. If ever there comes a day when I can go full time color me gone.
Sometimes the Universe sends you people just when you need them the most. Thank all the Gods in the Universe for bringing me just such a person today.
My friends, the really good ones, well they are the shit. seriously. :)
Cleaning has a way of making things seem better.
Heroes!!!! oh ya... go Syler go.
THanks to tedivm for making me watch Dexter. Holy shit kinda good.
The cool weather is coming and I feel the urge to get the stove fired up.
Cats are intentionally cute so we don't make earmuffs out of them. It's the only explanation.
Want ink!!
I am beinging to feel wild and reckless.. any takers?