sylvari: (Default)
Livejournal! 

  It's nice to see you back. Hopefully it won't be a temporary thing again.

So much going on over here at Dom Hagar I am not even sure where to begin.

The Hagarettes are up for the summer and the kind of fun chaos that only young kids bring reigns. It has caused a few kerfuffles in our scheduling but we adapt and adjust. What it did do is wreak havoc with some of my other plans. *looks guiltily at the garden* *pushes the scale back under the bed* Kids first though yes? :)

Vacation on tap in about 4 days! The chant can now begin "After Vegas, After Vegas, After Vegas" So much to do but at this point it will all have to wait until .... well, you know.

 My poor garden is sorely neglected. Right now the choices are between emergency weeding in the hopes of salvaging something and calling it a total loss and planning ahead for falls prep work etc. Lesson learned. There are also some indoor plants on the way I am hoping to work magic with. The most important thing is that I stop treating this like the internet and start treating it like real life. You know what I mean.

Food trucks! I am becoming obsessed with food trucks and I see them as one of the next inevitable steps away from civilized dining and to organic, basic more real food. Yes much of it is not as healthy as you would think but out there are gems of deliciousness. 

Ok, now I am getting nervous that LJ will lose this post on me. Better get it up there before disaster strikes. Wish me luck! 
sylvari: (Rigid)
The books Pinky ordered for me came in this week! They are "How to Brew at Home" and "The Homebrewer's Garden" .  I am not sure if I still have time to put plants in the ground this year but if not this year then next. I should be able to get some winter wheat and the like in the ground if nothing else. Crafting a food from beginning to end is something I have always wanted to try.

Today on Four Weddings I saw a woman who refused to eat lobster bisque because they had left the front half of the lobster in the soup. That in and of itself is not such a big deal but this poor woman was scared and horrified by the display. There was also a whole suckling pig as part of the buffet. Between the two she complained her appetite was ruined by such a vulgar display. She said "I can't eat anything with a face" If she had been a PETA person it wouldn't have been a blip on my radar screen but there she was scarfing down prime rib at the next event. 
 It disturbs me we are so removed from our food sources that this woman was disgusted (and her disgust was supported by her friends) by the sight of her food in it's original form. Chicken can't look like chicken, fish can't have eyes or a head, even our fruit must be perfect or we take a pass on it. Many kids can't make the connection between the food they eat and the sources it comes from.

 One of my goals is to follow a meal from beginning to end. From the growing of the food, the slaughtering of the meat (which scares the heck out of me but that won't stop me) to the curing, prepping etc etc. I need to know.

 It should be interesting. :) 
sylvari: (Bourdain FU)
  So I have decided to blog this journey/ struggle I seem to have with food and my brain. Before we start let lay down a little foundation -

I have worked in hospital/nursing home kitchens for almost two decades. I know my nutrition. Since I left I have been keeping up on things because diabetes runs in my family. I know the rules, I know what I **should* eat not just to loose weight but more importantly to stay healthy.

 I know all the rules. Move more, cut 500 cal a day for optimum weight loss (or add a workout) I cannot stand exercise that has no goal. One of the things I loved about Geocaching was it was hiking with a goal. Even when I bitched about it I still enjoyed it more. Don't care that the goal should be muscle mass (for the sugar and the aging) for me there has to be more of a purpose. Gardening, caching, building walls, hell anything that is physical but gets something done I can do but this mindless workout stuff is just not for me. Except for yoga. Yoga is the one thing tha has no obvious payoff that I love. Mostly because I think it pushes me a little yet relaxes me .

 I know why I need to get this under control- My entire family had died from heart disease brought about by type 2 diabetes. (with the exception of my mom. Cancer got her before the sugar could) More muscle means less shots in my ass. It's that simple.

Got a full tool box. What I do not have is control over my brain. Today was a high anxiety day brought about my missing time at the Sunwheel, too much worry about the ice on the roof and end of my moon time hormones. I know I need to be good but the angry voice in my head says " fuck them all! Who else is going to tell me what I can and cannot do" No one, mind you was telling me anything but that is how it works in my head. Starting tomorrow we are going to see just how much the chemicals in my brain affect my eating habits. Today I just wanted to get my toolbox ready.

One more thing - I love the process of food. Everything about it for me is a sensual happy making experience. From creating what to make in my head, going to the grocery store to be inspired, the cooking, the feel of the food, the smells, serving it to people, making them smile, filling them up,all of it. For me it hits all my good buttons. The sensual nature of it. The service aspects. Feeling like I have done something of value. the only thing better than food is sex in terms of experience and good head space for me. Just because food makes me happy does not mean it has to be bad food. New tool to aquire is making healthy food whose process I can enjoy.

Ok, back to the superbowl. tomorrow we get serious.
sylvari: (Bourdain FU)
 After yesterday's post about food and mental health someone suggested I blog about my own issues and journey with food and my bipolar. It is something I have been trying to do for quite some time now so instead of talking about it it's time to just do it. My question to you all is - are you interested? Would you read my food musings? Do you think it should be public or private? talk to me oh wise ones.. :)
sylvari: (soot)
But they are not.

Perhaps I am not seeing this clearly and if you think I am not please let me know.

  The other day whilst scrolling through Tumblr I found this article on eating what makes you feel good and still being healthy. Once again I find myself in between a rock and an irritated place. The basic premise is easily understandable. Honest. Good food = taste good so you will eat it. Got it. The problem is the assumption that the person is mentally able to make clear food choices. This is not always the case. People who suffer from depression often do not have the energy to make a meal. People who are on the manic side of bipolar will often over indulge in *everything* including food. There is a huge disconnect between mind and body for those who suffer from even the least symptomatic mental illnesses which may contribute to poor food choices on a regular basis. The problem is these choices are often put to other causes. Because they were "having a bad day" or "have no will power" It's not a matter of willpower that has me reaching for those spur of the moment food decisions which are normally not healthy, it's the chemical imbalance in my head. Having worked in a place with a mental health unit I can say from experience that you are what you eat reaches into every aspect of a person's life. These people were allowed to order anything they wanted. One person ordered mashed potatoes (and nothing else) and 4 diet coke for every meal. Another who wanted pizza every night. All of them asked for so much soda we had to start limiting them to 4 cans per meal (and almost every one had soda for breakfast) One who only ate ice cream. So many who ordered triple and quadruple servings of steak and chicken and mac and cheese (although - the mac and cheese there was *totally* worth ordering extra) The point is that telling someone that it's ok to eat what they want, that their body will naturally find it's footing does a disservice to those who are struggling with mental issues and who need nutritional help. This isn't about being thin, this is about eating healthy foods. Maybe looking at someone's diet should be part of the over all diagnosis and treatment instead of simply saying "oh you are unhealthy- maybe you should try harder to eat better" If you know they are depressed do you say "oh you are sad- maybe you should try harder to smile"? no, but when it comes to food we wrap it in so many issues and triggers we cannot see the forest for the trees. If I was cutting as part of my illness you wouldn't think twice about the harm I was doing and try to help me stop with behavior modification therapy and meds but if I am stuffing myself full of Dove chocolate or only eating brown rice every day you expect me to fix it on my own. Look harder- this is part of my illness and it needs your help just as much as all the other parts of me do.


/soapbox
sylvari: (HarleyQuinn)
So a few random questions -

I need skin care love!! I have dry skin but need something to keep my pores in shape. I need suggestions for a masque, a moisturizer, a cleanser and a good base makeup wise. Must keep adult acne under control. :)


Muffin tins have been acquired and I need suggestions for what to make in them. ANd your best sourdough starter.

I want to go camping. *pout* I want a tent and a fire and friends to share it with. Is anyone on my flist interested in going away for a weekend or so to drink coffee and or beer by the firelight? I have some gear.

What is the most important thing to you in a friendship? Where am I falling down in my friendship with you? this one you can email me an answer to if you like.

Do i look fat in this lj?

What is your favorite summertime food? (looking for cooking suggestions

ok.. that is it for now

thanks

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sylvari

November 2011

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